April 2012
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March 2012
ramenjesus:
you’re not a real 90s kid unless you’ve contracted AIDS from a used heroin needle
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Goddamn it I would be so good on a reality show. I’m just the perfect mix of funny and completely batshit insane.
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I think there might be actual coke in this coke because I can’t stop drinking these coke floats.
I should do this for a living
So it still remains to be seen as to whether I’m actually writing a book or whether I’m just writing a bunch of stock blogposts for future use when I finally take the plunge and get back into bloggery. But as of right now I’ve found that the best part is definitely coming up with chapter titles. Probably because I love disconnected one-liners. Here’s a few chapter titles...
As soon as my sister gets off of xbox live or the lesbian chatroom that she’s in, I’m going to yell at her. And if she tries to say anything back I’m just going to respond with
until she shuts up.
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mgnlvr replied to your post: mgnlvr replied to your post: I’m trying to…
LESBIhonest here, everyone’s the lesbians’ ally. Like, who doesn’t like two hot chicks mud wrestling in bikinis all the time? Because that’s what lesbians do right?
Oh no she isn’t hot or anything. She’s a call of duty kind of lesbian. That’s a whole different ballpark vaginapark. So really everyone...
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mgnlvr replied to your post: I’m trying to meditate but it’s really hard with…
Also, tumblr. That can’t be helping.
No, no. I only came back to tumblr to complain about my lesbian sister making asian jokes. Like, what is even up with that? I thought the lesbians and the asians were allies.
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I’m trying to meditate but it’s really hard with my sister in the other room making extremely loud racist remarks.
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And now, a list of people who infuriate me:
alexleefitz:
People who use the term “YOLO”
People who compare generations in terms of film, television, and music
People who compare generations in general (if I see another post about “The 90’s generation was the last generation with common sense” I will find you and beat you up with a hammer)
Nerd who are total dicks to people who aren’t nerdy enough for them
Assholes in general
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Coke floats are the best things ever.
I’m of course talking about when you do cocaine off of an inner-tube.
Just the best. Heartwarming family fun.
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Watchbraaaiden:
A friend of mine and I were having a fight about which one of us could marry Josh Hutcherson. Then I found an audio clip of him saying something gay so I wanted to show her. Then I thought I’d make it into a song. Then i thought that song needed a visual component. All in all I’m going to say pretty productive evening.
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10 Facts.
I was tagged (like 2 weeks ago oops) and I need to write ten things about myself. So here we go.
1. Sometimes when I don’t cut my hair for a really long time it transforms into Pride Rock.
2. I like to create my own vocabulary lists to study and have also been practicing math for fun on this website I found because apparently I hate myself.
3. I’m getting back into a practice of...
A list of things that do not offend people
yiffmyass:
nyeeeeaaaah:
• • • • •
why are all the dots black you fucking racist
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“WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, I LIVED IN NEW YORK.”
– Britta Perry, Hero. (via alexleefitz)
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Even if I end up doing a horrific job I always feel so much better about my life after cutting my own hair.
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I’m a tease because both times you hit me up at 5AM to come hang out with you I said no.
Um okay that makes sense.
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I love when people on Facebook IM are like, “I don’t wanna keep you from what you’re doing if you’re busy!” as if it takes some great deal of concentration to answer the question “what’s up” within a 5 minute time span.
I’m really honestly trying not to judge you right now but you’re making it so hard by using “u” instead of “you.”
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alexleefitz replied to your post: alexleefitz replied to your post: alexleefitz…
COME TRY AND POLE VAULT OVER OUR WALL. I FUCKING DARE YOU.
My people are surprisingly good pole vaulters.
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alexleefitz replied to your post: alexleefitz replied to your post: You don’t choose…
IS THIS BECAUSE OUR PEOPLE ARE AT WAR
HOW MANY HOMOSEXUALS MUST DIE FROM FASHION DON’TS BEFORE YOU FINALLY AGREE TO LET US WEAR SILK ALEX
HOW MANY
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alexleefitz replied to your post: You don’t choose whether or not you’re a…
I chose to be Asian, is that weird or
Weird? No. Morally incorrect? Yes.
You don’t choose whether or not you’re a homosexual.
You do however choose whether you’re a jewish princess homosexual or a ghetto black girl homosexual. End of list.
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waywardwindd:
if i was a sim
I mean the social bar is a little too high but
I’m making tacos and I just remembered that we have no cheese.
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Jennifer Lawrence and first impressions:
Woody Harrelson: I was on my bus, and on my bus I have a yoga swing. Jennifer comes on, and she goes, 'Hi, Woody, I'm J—is that a sex swing?' Her first sentence to me.
Josh Hutcherson: When I got cast, she called me up for one of those five-minute 'Excited to work with you, blah, blah, blah' things. The conversation started with her saying, 'Think about a catheter going in – ouch!' and then turns into a 45-minute rant about zombies and the apocalypse.
Zoë Kravitz: I'd met her a few times, and she was like, 'You should come over and we'll hang out.' So I go over to her apartment, and she opens the door in a towel. She's like, 'Come in, sorry, you're early, I was about to shower.' And she drops her towel and gets in the shower, and starts shaving her legs, totally naked. She was like, 'Are we here yet? Is this OK?' And I was like, 'I guess we're there!'
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I can’t stop playing Junk Jack and it’s becoming an addiction and I feel like I’m going to be on a virtual episode of hoarders pretty soon.
I JUST NEED TO COLLECT ALL OF THE CLAY OKAY?
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“But wait,” Carly said, as Zombie Freddie moaned. “We can’t. What about the...”
– Ryan’s iCarly/Zombies Run crossover fanfic. (via alexleefitz)
(I cant help that I’m hilarious.)
4794:
it must be fun to be hot enough to have no morals
it is